At the beginning of the New Year, many think about New Year’s resolutions. These resolutions, no doubt, will vary from one end of the spectrum to the other. Losing weight, making better grades in school, getting a better job, or having a closer relationship with those we love are some of the most common resolutions. Or it may be a deeper resolution such as moving past the hurts we have experienced by losing someone important in our life.
I can easily relate.
When I was in my mid-teens, my father died of a heart attack. It was a traumatic experience for me, watching my father die right before my eyes. Needless to say, his passing left a big void in my life and it was painful! I soon came to the conclusion that in order for me to get past the pain that I needed to accept the fact that he was no longer present in body. That, in order for me to move forward and have the best life possible, it would be beneficial to implement the wisdom he had imparted and that was to accept things as they are; to live by the mantra I’ve come to know as “iiwii” (pronounced e we) which means....‘it is what it is’.
Also, many years ago when my children’s mother and I divorced, not seeing my young children every day was extremely painful. Since I couldn’t have quantity time, I resolved to make the time we had together quality time. I resolved to make every minute with them as meaningful as possible and fill that time with love and joy.
In both circumstances, the key to making my resolutions a success was to accept ‘what is’ and make the best of ‘what can be’ at that given moment. Once I was able to release the hurt of the past by embracing the present, my resolutions turned from ideas into reality.
When we dwell on the pains of the past, we continue to experience that pain. In his book, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz compares dwelling on painful experiences as touching a wound within you. The wound cannot heal if you keep touching the wound by re-living the pain over and over again. It’s when we release those thoughts, that we can move forward and live a happier life.
As with a ship, if we are to move forward, we need to ‘up anchor’ and then ‘set sail’. We can ‘set all the sails’ we want, but it’s going to be difficult to move forward with the anchor entrenched in the seabed.
Let every day be the beginning of your new year! Remember what Paul wrote in Philippians 3:13, “Focus on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.”
I encourage you to give yourself a wonderful New Year’s present; let go of the past and live in the present with the knowledge that in the future GOOD will be yours!